(Part 2) Peculiar Interest Tinged with Melancholy

Please read Part 1, “Are You Classical?” first.

I Love and Only Love

Anne Lister is the first modern lesbian. 

That we know of. 

Lister’s extraordinary diaries have given historians huge insight into lesbian relationships in the past. Lister left an estimated five million words documenting her life over many decades, including significant sections written in her own personal code. These extensive diaries record everything, from the routines of her daily life to her numerous sexual encounters with the “fairer sex.”

The National Library of Britain

Although portions of the diaries have been in print for decades—I read them in the 90s—Nobody saw Anne Lister for who she was until Sally Wainwright—a straight woman—adapted the diaries for drama, and filmed the series in Anne’s real home of Shibden Hall, on the real landscape of Halifax.

Anne’s diaries in a a birthday week celebration exhibit at the Halifax library. The diaries are included in UNESCO’s Memory of the World Archive. 

Anne Lister directed her own education, found her own teachers and devoted years to the study of science, business, literature, philosophy, and languages. She recorded the events of her world and copied out letters into her diaries because she thought her life was worth recording and reflecting on. She improved her mental health by writing down observations of the world and her own feelings.

June 1921
I owe a great deal to this Journal. By unburdening my mind on paper I feel, as it were, in some degree to help get rid of it; it seems made over to a friend that hears it patiently, keeps it faithfully, and by never forgetting anything is always ready to compare the past and present and thus to cheer and edify the future.

Among 5 million words, the most quoted passage is where she came out to herself:

I love & only love the fairer sex & thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any other love than theirs.

It wasn’t just that she loved women, but that they loved her back. 

In the 1890s, fifty years after her death, Shibden’s owner John Lister looked through the diaries, stored in a closet. He deciphered the code, but read enough of her story to not share them with anyone. He was gay too.

March 1825

…took her on my knee and began grubbling. She having no support for her back, lay her on the bed. Knelt down by her, grubbled well and had the kiss. We both groaned… she declaring towards the last, that the pleasure became pain. I said she had never given me so good a one. We both got into bed to have a little nap, took about an hour’s nap then absolutely grubbed again and had another very good kiss. The kiss tho’ not quite so good as the one before. Then another hour’s na and got up about two to undress and go regularly to bed—each took a glass of hot weak brandy and water and after my doubting a moment whether to have still another kiss we both fell asleep about three.

As quoted in: In The Footsteps of Anne Lister, by Adeline Lim

Not until nearly a hundred years later did a local historian decode and publish Anne Lister’s diaries.

When Helena Whitbread entered the public library in the West Yorkshire town of Halifax, in 1983, she had no idea that she was about to discover what author Emma Donoghue was to describe as “the Dead Sea Scrolls of lesbian history.” Not long before, Whitbread had completed an undergraduate degree as a mature student, and she was now looking for an interesting research topic for an article. “I’d heard about Anne Lister, who lived in my hometown of Halifax, 200 years ago, and I decided to go down to the archives, where a collection of her letters was held, and find out more about her.” …


In 1988, Whitbread published her first book, “I Know My Own Heart” – a selection of Lister’s coded diaries, from the years 1817 to 1824. At first some people thought it was a hoax, finding it difficult to believe that a woman from that period could not have written with such brazen and aware openness about sexuality in general and lesbian sexuality in particular. But the journals were entirely authentic; it was the scholarly perceptions concerning the history of lesbian identity that were false.

Haaretz.com

Helena Whitbread grew up in Yorkshire, daughter of Irish immigrants. 

Anne Lister wanted what Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby had found in Llangollen. Anne and Mariana were never able to live together, but the story of Anne Lister and Ann Walker is the romance plot of Gentleman Jack.

The Gentleman Jack Effect

I knew Gentleman Jack was popular among lesbians, but I only recently learned about The Gentleman Jack Effect, as compiled by Janet Lea.

[It is] clear that Gentleman Jack had electrified lesbians worldwide by positively representing us and validating the way we think and feel and who we love. …

Lin interviewed scores of women who made major changes to improve their lives after watching the show, reading her diaries, and participating in online GJ communities.

As many fans observed, it’s the show we didn’t know we needed. When I saw that hundreds of women reported experiencing the motivation to make significant changes in their lives, I knew there was an important story to tell. …
Gay women reported that the show validated their identity as a lesbian and gave them a surge in self-esteem and self-confidence. They said that as a result, they’re more willing to take risks, to be more open about who they are and who they love.

The chapter titles indicate the variety of the Gentleman Jack Effect: “Confidence and Courage,” “Communities and Friendships,” “Myth Busters and Armchair Detectives,” “Adventure Seekers,” Creative Expressions,” “Catalyst for Change.”

In the afterword, Lin writes:

I recognize I am just one in a long line of women across time who’ve challenged norms and broken society’s rules to be themselves. I discovered my voice to tell the inspiring stories of lesbians and other women living their truth. I now live in a world that is enriched by the new friends I made because of what a television show stirred up.

Gentleman Jack Nation a documentary about (mostly)

lesbians finding their place in the world. The community they made grew far beyond “the show.”

What Happened When We Found Them

The Yorkshire city of Halifax is east of Llangollen and not far by Californian standards. I’m not a student of the industrial revolution, so my knowledge of the area comes from two television shows, both written Sally Wainwright (writer and director of Gentleman Jack).

Happy Valley

Last Tango in Halifax

In 2020, Hilary and I had planned our trip to Halifax to coincided with Anne’s birthday on April 7. Since then, thousands of other fans had the same idea. The entire region has copped on to the Gentleman Jack Effect. There’s program of private events called Anne Lister Birthday Weekend, but we didn’t attend any. There was quite enough to do already. 

Unlike the Butler/Ponsonby/Carryl monument in Llangollen, Anne’s gravestone was damaged during long-ago church renovations. Its original location is lost, but the stone is on display, as is the font where she was baptized, amid the many lovely windows and relics of Halifax Minster.

Lacking a grave, when pilgrims like arrive, we leave flowers on her statue in the center of town.

The next stop would be Shibden Hall itself.  We had early tickets to avoid the crowds. 

Everyone takes this picture.

The Shibden Lion, commissioned by Anne.

Anne built this tower addition as a retreat for herself and Ann Walker.

Mushroom statues under Anne’s tower.

Anne redesigned the central hall. 

Although she called it “shabby little Shibden” she didn’t tear out the medieval heart of her home and replace it with her own era’s Georgian simplicity. She enhanced the baroque. Maybe it is a coincidence that she valued the dark oak carvings of a certain era, just like Eleanor and Sarah, but it seems to be a shared aesthetic. 

That table under the window is same sort of furniture that the Ladies upscaled into wall paneling. 

Eleanor and Sarah used ornate beds like this one to build the porch of Plas Newydd.
 

A room restored as Anne might have left it. 

Only two portraits of Anne Lister are known. 

View from Anne’s room.

Of course we exited through the gift shop.

At the cafe I met an online friend who has written a terrific book about modern lesbians. This is the review I left in the ALBW Chat facebook group. 

This morning I finished Miss Lister’s Guest House by A.L. Aikman. I don’t usually read lesbian romance novels but this one was recommended by a trusted author acquaintance. I loved it. It’s a book about what lesbian community really is. It’s about the common lesbian experience, grounded in our love and mysterious overwhelming desire for women, and the adventures and consequences that follow that love: in all its forms and follies. It’s funny, it’s sad, and the characters will reminded you of women you know. And it all takes place here in Halifax in a group of women who love Anne Lister. Anyone who’s at this ALBW gathering will love this book. You can get it on Amazon. I happened to meet the author, and she’s putting on a staged reading of three scenes on Saturday, 1:30. The Book Corner has copies but only 20. So get yours today before they run out. (The author did not ask me to do this post. I want to get this story out there. )

Anne Lister is famous for walking and climbing mountains. She and Ann Walker were in Georgia on a hiking excursion when she died. The walking route between Shibden Hall and Halifax is only a few miles, and everyone wants to walk in Anne Lister’s footsteps. 

A walk in Anne Lister’s footsteps.

I thought this brochure would be our guide. It even included the route from our hotel.

This genre of overly detailed documentation scares me. 

The instructions provided by the hotel were worse. A loop walk in only 22 stages. 

We opted for a walked organized by Calderdale Council Countryside Services. (A local church advertises the “Anne Lister Way of the Setts” as a pilgrimage: “ The basis of this pilgrimage is Anne’s strong and unwavering faith, which did not conflict with any aspect of her life, and took her back and forth, from her home at Shibden Hall to the parish church to worship.” Many paths, one destination. )

We started at Anne’s church, the Halifax Minster, and soon rose above the town. 

The paving stones are called “setts” and date to medieval times.
The rectangular shape make it easier for horses on inclines.
At one time, this was the only route to the town. 

The hill above Shibden, hidden in that valley.

Just before coming onto the Shibden estate (now a public park) we passed the ventilation tower of The Walker Pit, so named for Anne’s lover. Unlike the utilitarian towers that are long since pulled down, this monument to their love and Ann Walker’s fortune is a lovely folly. 

My photos didn’t turn out, so here’s a sketch from the map. 

Anne Lister and Ann Walker were traveling in Kutisi, Georgia when Anne fell ill and died at age 49. What on earth were they doing there? I’ve never read any speculation; maybe we will learn as the rest of the diaries are decoded and published. But I have a theory. Kutisi is the home of the ancient Amazons. They were looking for strong women. They were looking for women in romantic friendships. They were looking for fierce women. They were looking for the lesbians.

At the end of two days we were exhausted. All this—thousands of women, hundreds of men, parties, lectures, ceremonies, art, books, exhibits—all because one woman’s diaries happened to survive accidents of history and disgust of the censor. How many other lesbians kept diaries since women were taught to read and write?

My life’s intellectual project is to understand the impact lesbians have in the world, not just in our own private lives. I blame Kurt Vonnegut for inspiring me when I was fourteen. I read—was it in Cat’s Cradle?—that human beings cannot reproduce without a lesbian couple nearby. His point was that life is more complicated than we can imagine.

Lesbians have always been. What did they get up to? We know so little. Men’s external and internal worlds appear in literature for thousands of years. We have a brief two-hundred years of scant records by women who lived together alone without men. 

I remember in the late 1980s passing a yard sale in front of one of those tiny Westside Santa Cruz cottages on a corner lot. I stopped my bike and looked over the contents of an old woman’s lifetime. Her clothes, her pots and pans, her shoes, her books, her photo albums, her bundles of letters, her diaries. Something in that collection of the most personal of property led me to wonder if she had been a lesbian. I don’t remember the details now, but I read some letters and examined the faces of the women in the photo albums. I was sure of it. But I was poor. I didn’t buy any of it. I wished I could have preserved the story of this woman who lived to old age in a town reshaped in her lifetime by lesbians. Soon, a new house replaced her little cottage. For 40 years I never passed that corner without regret and loss. 

At Shibden Hall Anne Lister’s bedroom is decorated with a move-set bed we’re encouraged to sit on. They’ve provided a writing desk and a jar of pencils, to record a public diary entry of our own.

This is what I wrote in the Shibden Hall book:

Why are we here? Why did we also visit Plas Newydd? Not because these women were lesbians and had sex with women. But because they loved women. The love, devotion, and joy found between women is why they defied their fathers and lived life as they willed. They chose to be free because they loved women. And… they wrote diaries. So that we may know them. So, my sisters, remember them, and remember each other. Love women and let that love carry you into an unconventional life. Live and love as you please, and keep a record of your lesbian life. It is our gift to the women of the future. 

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Use of the word “lesbian” instead of “queer”

I understand that the word “queer” is preferred because LGBTQ+ and the word “queer” is inclusive. (Worse, “Lesbian” is problematic since it became a porn genre.) Inclusivity without limit is now a rule, to the point where to refuse to include everyone in any observation is seen as bigotry. That’s fine if you are interested in everyone, because everyone is queer in some way. But the queerosity of all people is not my interest. I’m interested in lesbians, so that’s the term I use. I’m comfortable with it being a word that can’t be scientifically defined. I mean to be poetic and specific and to exclude men.